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Five Tips To Improve Your Communication With Effective Listening Skills

Many people believe the ability to speak articulately is an important prerequisite to achievement. Communication is a two way process, sending and receiving, Disraeli noted, “Nature has given us two ears but only one mouth.” Use them proportionately. This is not to minimize the significance of good speech habits but to bring attention to listening our empathy skill.

 

Use these several listening tips to help you connect with people.

 

1.    Take the time to listen. Often we are “multitasking” or distracted with our own thoughts, we only pretend to listen. Take the time concentrate. By being in the moment you can learn and expand your knowledge.

 

2.    Be attentive. Everyone feels his or her words and thoughts are valuable. Whether you agree or not lack of attention is disrespectful to the individual. If you only hear the words and not understand the context the meaning will be lost. Focus on the words that are being said as well as the emotions and feelings that are expressed.

 

3.    Listen with an open mind. When you open your mind to the other person’s point of view, you have a better chance of understanding what they are trying to say. If you do this for the other person, chances are they will listen to your point of view.

 

4.    Listen for feelings. People tend to repeat those things that are important to them. Listen not only to what they say but how they say it. 85% of effective communication is something other than the words we say. Voices express emotion through pitch, intonation, hesitation, and speed of delivery. Facial, body and non-verbal clues speak volumes.

 

5.    Listen for retention. Have you ever wanted to share a good joke that you heard, but simply couldn’t remember anything but the punch line? If you do not consciously convey to your mind the thought that you hear, you will recall little of what is said. As you listen, verbally summarize the highlights occasionally to reinforce your understanding of the topic and to assist your memory.

 

Use these helpful hints regularly in your communication efforts. The skills will only be effective when they come from a sincere desire to understand. If people feel that you’re trying to manipulate them, you will lose their trust. People want you to believe in them, just as you want them to believe in you. When you display empathy for another human being, you heighten self-respect. Add this trait to your list of personal goals; it will reward you with a lifetime of meaningful relationships.

CoachAnovick

Developing Potential, Producing Results

201.445.2822

Paul Anovick

The Power of Storytelling for Effective Communication

Before man learned to write, he had to rely on his memory to learn anything. This required being a good listener. A good storyteller was always respected as he passed on the ideas, values and stories that define and bond humanity.

Stories captivate us. They make us think and have the ability to connect with our physical being, our heart and spirit in a way that no other media can. Storytellers create bonds with their audiences on many levels. As a manager, leader and coach I've seen that through the stories you tell audiences connect on many different levels. Perhaps the audience member shared a similar experience; stories allow listeners to derive what they want from the story, somewhat leaving your comments open to their interpretation.

We are hardwired for stories. As children we love bedtime stories, as teenagers the stories turn dark, as adults we tell jokes, which are stories, and we respond to a good story that resonates with a problem or challenge that we face. The individual who uses gestures, facial expressions, sounds, accents and body postures can create a total theater of the mind in connecting with his audience. A story told face-to-face is more persuasive than its print or screen equivalent. It is the oral telling of the story that makes it genuine and authentic.

Having been the keynote speaker at industry events and special occasions over the years I am constantly amazed how people will come up to me and recount stories that I told 15 to 20 years ago. The challenge is to make your story relevant to a take-away or key point you want to make. The power and impact of a good story is ageless.

My grandfather was a carpenter and had a wood shop; as a young boy I spent a great deal of my time with him in that shop. When customers came in to order items we would take a break to discuss a project for the customer. My grandfather was a master storyteller who would engage customers with stories of his home in Kentucky and spend time learning about them. His stories always had a purpose and he would weave it back to what the customer needed and what they really wanted--which was often much more then what they originally described. Over the years I realized purposeful storytelling wasn't show business, it was good business.

Are you a storyteller?

CoachAnovick

Developing Potential, Producing Results

201.445.2822

Paul Anovick

Seven Strategies to Reduce Email Errors

Email and electronic communication errors made in the past month, by The New York Times and Vassar College respectfully, are reason enough to examine the way we communicate today.  The New York Times sent an erroneous email to 8 million subscribers, while Vassar College directed Early Decision applicants to a website page posting misinformation.  Both a P.R. and customer service disaster, with lingering fallout, it reminds us that technology is still subject to human error.

Set-up a “Send” Delay. How often have you hit “Send” to only say “Oops” immediately after? Set your email account up with either a delay delivery time (Outlook has this) or the ability to “Undo Send” (Gmail) which allows you to take back the email message up to 30 seconds after hitting send.  Lifesaver.

Proofread. Spell check, of course, but that doesn’t pick up all errors. Read each email out loud and listen for content, phrases and words that could be interpreted other than you intended, as well as grammatical errors.  Reread it word-by-word and don’t forget to double-check the recipient’s name. I’ve received emails where there was a different name in the body of the email.  Ask a trusted person, with strong grammar and spelling skills, to read it, as well.
Do a Trial Run. Send the email to yourself. You’d be surprised at what you catch. How does it appear in your preview pane? Check out all links. Sometimes hyperlinks don’t appear correctly. Did the formatting shift? Are the fonts consistent? When you cut and paste items into an email all this can occur.

Keep Multiple Recipients Email Addresses Private. I was shocked to receive an email, from a Fortune 500, where the name and email addresses, of 50 job applicants, were visible. Not a good practice and perhaps a privacy violation? When sending an email to more than one person, either create a “Group” or send the email “To” yourself and then “Bcc” the other recipients.  This also keeps the email cleaner.

Never Send an Email When Angry. If you’re upset, do not send an email to clarify your position or feelings.  Lack of nonverbal communication in email makes it difficult to convey emotion. Remember the written word is a permanent record and email can go viral in minutes. If you need to vent, write the email, save as a draft, and then reread it the next day. You will most likely not send it. Err on the side of caution when it comes to jokes or anything that could be misconstrued, too.

Avoid hitting “Reply to All.” Only use this feature when you are absolutely certain of who is seeing your response.  Thoroughly check the “To” and “Cc” fields. If in doubt, don’t hit “Reply to all.” Even if you know the other recipients, ask yourself “is responding to the sender sufficient?”  Don’t duplicate your efforts, and annoy people. This applies to the use of “Cc.”  Don’t “Cc” someone if they are totally out of the loop on what you’re communicating about.  It can seem self-serving, as if you’re going around the original recipient. Make sure that either you, or the original recipient, have discussed the need to keep this person informed.

Don’t Forward Messages Without Carefully Studying the Thread. Everyone has been there, received an email that inadvertently included messages not intended for our eyes. In order to avoid, cut and paste the message and copy the subject line into a new email before replying or just start a new email, referencing the other one.  I often change the subject line anyhow, because they are unclear and inaccurate.

I assume The New York Times and Vassar College employed some of the above tips, yet they still made email mistakes.  As with anything in life, it is not the error, as much as how you recover.  Both the Times and Vassar were criticized for their lack of follow-up.  Do not make that mistake. And do not follow-up an email error with another email, pick up the phone or go see your client. Accept responsibility for the error and do whatever it takes to satisfy the recipient and make things right.

Theresa Merrill is the Director of Business Development for Anovick Associates. She has more than 20 years of sales and marketing experience in NY, Boston and Atlanta working for Katz Communications, CBS, Tribune and Cablevision and can be reached at 201.444.2991 or by e-mail merrill.theresa@gmail.com.

For more articles by Theresa Merrill GO HERE.

Eight Simple Steps for Tactful Communication

What is tact? The ability to deal with others without offending, giving feedback without creating conflict, a keen sense for what is appropriate, this is the skill of tactfulness. If you see the value of being tactful the following suggestions will help.

Think before you speak. It is not what you say but how you say it.

Use Active Listening, be in touch with your audience, "seek first to understand, then be understood", by listening you are demonstrating respect.

Keep your Thoughts Positive, be helpful, keep your attitude friendly, if you do this even the most direct comments and feedback are projected in a constructive manner.

You can disagree without being Disagreeable. Keep the situation and relationship in perspective. Don't sweat the small stuff, and it is all small stuff.

Defuse explosive emotions by keeping yours in check. This requires that you know yourself and take responsibility for your actions and words.

Resolve conflict; do not add fuel to the fire. Recognize difficult people and apply the appropriate skills.

Understand the impact of non-verbal communication and be aware of clues from your audience.

Be confident and use effective diplomacy. This is the ability to achieve one's own ends yet avoid any unpleasantness or opposition.

Communicating with tact, diplomacy, poise and finesse improves your ability to work with other people. You can't control others and though this may be frustrating focus on what is controllable, YOU.

T Think before you speak
A Active Listening
C Control your emotions
T Thoughts positive

CoachAnovick

Developing Potential, Producing Results

201.445.2822

Paul Anovick

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Effective Communication Requires Openness and Trust

Research indicates we spend somewhere between 60-80% of our total time communicating. Effective communication requires we create an open atmosphere. Communication is a two-way process, sending and receiving. Many focus only on the sending portion. In order to be a great communicator, you must build a climate of openness and trust. You achieve this through mutual respect and the results will follow.

Think of being in an area where you have a weak signal for your mobile phone. When you pass through a poor reception area receiving is difficult, the interference makes your understanding of the message impossible and your transmission is no doubt not effective. Apply this analogy to personal communication. Whether it is an interview, sales presentation, family discussion or manager to employee feedback session; effective communication requires openness and trust.

If you are the sender, here are several tips to increase your effectiveness. PREP: plan, rehearse, edit and psych. Preparation is key, plan what you want to communicate. Who, what, where, when, how and why are all elements of the plan. Plan to make your message audience focused by finding out what is important to the receiver of your message, how can you best reach them and why is your communication important to THEM.

During your "PREP ", you want to find out as much about your audience as possible, this will help you forge stronger connection with them. Use the Internet to gather your intelligence. Google them, check them out on Linkedin, Facebook and company websites. With this information you will be able to relate on a more personal and specific level. Take time to put your audience at ease with you and the direction you are going before you even attempt to communicate your message. Remember, it is all about them -- not you.

The two-way process requires that you are an effective listener. In order to build trust you need to demonstrate mutual respect, by listening to what your audience is saying. Understand, by repeating back key points and summarizing any comments that the other person says. Be helpful and patient in communicating any information that your audience may have difficulty understanding. Ask to be certain there is clarity and understanding for both of you. Remember, we all process information in different ways. 

Several barriers that limit communication:

1. We assume that sending messages equals sharing meaning. Think of how we are suffering from information overload, emails, social websites, phone calls, mobile devices and the tyranny of the urgent. How effective is your message in this environment?

2. We forget that meanings are held in people, not in words. In our rush to do all that we "must" do we fail to connect and make time for EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION. 

3. Effective communication is not about the speaker's intended message...it is about what the listener perceives. Listen for understanding; build trust with mutual respect and think of the value of each individual. 

Effective Communication requires openness and trust. Let me know if these suggestions help with your communication.

CoachAnovick

Developing Potential, Producing Results

201.445.2822

Paul Anovick

Five Tips To Improve Your Communication With Effective Listening Skills

Many people believe the ability to speak articulately is an important prerequisite to achievement. Communication is a two way process, sending and receiving, Disraeli noted, “Nature has given us two ears but only one mouth.” Use them proportionately. This is not to minimize the significance of good speech habits but to bring attention to listening our empathy skill.

 

Use these several listening tips to help you connect with people.

 

1.    Take the time to listen. Often we are “multitasking” or distracted with our own thoughts, we only pretend to listen. Take the time concentrate. By being in the moment you can learn and expand your knowledge.

 

2.    Be attentive. Everyone feels his or her words and thoughts are valuable. Whether you agree or not lack of attention is disrespectful to the individual. If you only hear the words and not understand the context the meaning will be lost. Focus on the words that are being said as well as the emotions and feelings that are expressed.

 

3.    Listen with an open mind. When you open your mind to the other person’s point of view, you have a better chance of understanding what they are trying to say. If you do this for the other person, chances are they will listen to your point of view.

 

4.    Listen for feelings. People tend to repeat those things that are important to them. Listen not only to what they say but how they say it. 85% of effective communication is something other than the words we say. Voices express emotion through pitch, intonation, hesitation, and speed of delivery. Facial, body and non-verbal clues speak volumes.

 

5.    Listen for retention. Have you ever wanted to share a good joke that you heard, but simply couldn’t remember anything but the punch line? If you do not consciously convey to your mind the thought that you hear, you will recall little of what is said. As you listen, verbally summarize the highlights occasionally to reinforce your understanding of the topic and to assist your memory.

 

Use these helpful hints regularly in your communication efforts. The skills will only be effective when they come from a sincere desire to understand. If people feel that you’re trying to manipulate them, you will lose their trust. People want you to believe in them, just as you want them to believe in you. When you display empathy for another human being, you heighten self-respect. Add this trait to your list of personal goals; it will reward you with a lifetime of meaningful relationships.

CoachAnovick

Developing Potential, Producing Results

201.445.2822

Paul Anovick

Simple Steps for Tactful Communication

What is tact? The ability to deal with others without offending, giving feedback without creating conflict, a keen sense for what is appropriate, this is the skill of tactfulness. If you see the value of being tactful the following suggestions will help.

Think before you speak. It is not what you say but how you say it.

Use Active Listening, be in touch with your audience, "seek first to understand, then be understood", by listening you are demonstrating respect.

Keep your Thoughts Positive, be helpful, keep your attitude friendly, if you do this even the most direct comments and feedback are projected in a constructive manner.

You can disagree without being Disagreeable. Keep the situation and relationship in perspective. Don't sweat the small stuff, and it is all small stuff.

Defuse explosive emotions by keeping yours in check. This requires that you know yourself and take responsibility for your actions and words.

Resolve conflict; do not add fuel to the fire. Recognize difficult people and apply the appropriate skills.

Understand the impact of non-verbal communication and be aware of clues from your audience.

Be confident and use effective diplomacy. This is the ability to achieve one's own ends yet avoid any unpleasantness or opposition.

Communicating with tact, diplomacy, poise and finesse improves your ability to work with other people. You can't control others and though this may be frustrating focus on what is controllable, YOU.

T Think before you speak
A Active Listening
C Control your emotions
T Thoughts positive

CoachAnovick

Developing Potential, Producing Results

201.445.2822

Paul Anovick

"Five Tips To Improve Your Communication With Effective Listening Skills"

Many people believe the ability to speak articulately is an important prerequisite to achievement. Communication is a two way process, sending and receiving, Disraeli noted, “Nature has given us two ears but only one mouth.” Use them proportionately. This is not to minimize the significance of good speech habits but to bring attention to listening our empathy skill.

 

Use these several listening tips to help you connect with people.

 

1.    Take the time to listen. Often we are “multitasking” or distracted with our own thoughts, we only pretend to listen. Take the time concentrate. By being in the moment you can learn and expand your knowledge.

 

2.    Be attentive. Everyone feels his or her words and thoughts are valuable. Whether you agree or not lack of attention is disrespectful to the individual. If you only hear the words and not understand the context the meaning will be lost. Focus on the words that are being said as well as the emotions and feelings that are expressed.

 

3.    Listen with an open mind. When you open your mind to the other person’s point of view, you have a better chance of understanding what they are trying to say. If you do this for the other person, chances are they will listen to your point of view.

 

4.    Listen for feelings. People tend to repeat those things that are important to them. Listen not only to what they say but how they say it. 85% of effective communication is something other than the words we say. Voices express emotion through pitch, intonation, hesitation, and speed of delivery. Facial, body and non-verbal clues speak volumes.

 

5.    Listen for retention. Have you ever wanted to share a good joke that you heard, but simply couldn’t remember anything but the punch line? If you do not consciously convey to your mind the thought that you hear, you will recall little of what is said. As you listen, verbally summarize the highlights occasionally to reinforce your understanding of the topic and to assist your memory.

 

Use these helpful hints regularly in your communication efforts. The skills will only be effective when they come from a sincere desire to understand. If people feel that you’re trying to manipulate them, you will lose their trust. People want you to believe in them, just as you want them to believe in you. When you display empathy for another human being, you heighten self-respect. Add this trait to your list of personal goals; it will reward you with a lifetime of meaningful relationships. Let me know how this works for you.

CoachAnovick

Developing Potential, Producing Results

201.445.2822

Paul Anovick

 

The Power of Storytelling for Effective Communication

Before man learned to write, he had to rely on his memory to learn anything. This required being a good listener. A good storyteller was always respected as he passed on the ideas, values and stories that define and bond humanity.

Stories captivate us. They make us think and have the ability to connect with our physical being, our heart and spirit in a way that no other media can. Storytellers create bonds with their audiences on many levels. As a manager, leader and coach I've seen that through the stories you tell audiences connect on many different levels. Perhaps the audience member shared a similar experience; stories allow listeners to derive what they want from the story, somewhat leaving your comments open to their interpretation.

We are hardwired for stories. As children we love bedtime stories, as teenagers the stories turn dark, as adults we tell jokes, which are stories, and we respond to a good story that resonates with a problem or challenge that we face. The individual who uses gestures, facial expressions, sounds, accents and body postures can create a total theater of the mind in connecting with his audience. A story told face-to-face is more persuasive than its print or screen equivalent. It is the oral telling of the story that makes it genuine and authentic.

Having been the keynote speaker at industry events and special occasions over the years I am constantly amazed how people will come up to me and recount stories that I told 15 to 20 years ago. The challenge is to make your story relevant to a take-away or key point you want to make. The power and impact of a good story is ageless.

My grandfather was a carpenter and had a wood shop; as a young boy I spent a great deal of my time with him in that shop. When customers came in to order items we would take a break to discuss a project for the customer. My grandfather was a master storyteller who would engage customers with stories of his home in Kentucky and spend time learning about them. His stories always had a purpose and he would weave it back to what the customer needed and what they really wanted--which was often much more then what they originally described. Over the years I realized purposeful storytelling wasn't show business, it was good business.

Are you a storyteller?

CoachAnovick

Developing Potential, Producing Results

201.445.2822

Paul Anovick

The Importance of Effective Communication

“What we have here is a failure to communicate.” We recognize this line from Cool Hand Luke, but why do we use it so often to describe our frustration or challenge of effectively communicating?

There may be many answers to the above question; however, people often think communications involves transferring a precise piece of information from one mind to another. Words, tone, gestures and expressions may be “understood” in different ways from what you mean to communicate.

Communication is the exchange of ideas between two people. Communication involves more than just sending. It involves receiving. People will understand what they already believe. Therefore, “seek first to understand, then be understood.” Know your audience.

When people believe in you and your ideas, they serve you without question. Effective communication is a two-way process. The feelings and emotions that develop during the course of conversation strongly influence the behavior of those involved and, ultimately, the outcome of the conversation.

Once you understand the role that emotions play in communication, you will begin to “put yourself in the other person’s shoes.” This is empathy, a quality that can be cultivated by developing a genuine interest in other people.

Effective listening is as important in communication as your ability to shape your ideas coherently. No matter how brilliant and invaluable your idea, it is worthless unless you can effectively communicate it with others. Take care to insure that your objective in communicating is to develop mutual understanding, not to impress someone or to make yourself appear smart by making someone else look stupid.

People want you to believe in them, just as you want them to believe in you. When you display empathy for another human being, you heighten self-respect. The most loved, most respected, and most successful leaders are invariably those who have the capacity to empathize with the feelings of others and who openly show it.

CoachAnovick

Developing Potential, Producing Results

201.445.2822

Paul Anovick